I've finished my first year in STM. I went through a lot of struggles such as assignments, character building, communication skills and etc. I thank God that each difficulties I went through with Him. My life here has helped me especially in building up my character. Things that I've learned in lecture is very dry, spiritually dry, because it is just knowledge. But how to make it not dry is using the knowledge and apply it in our daily life.
Sometimes I struggle with the things I've learned. I realized when I understood something, it doesn't makes my relationship with God become more intimate. The only thing I know is "wow!" or " I see!". Though cognitively I know that God is great, but my heart does not have that conviction.
I have to admit that my faith level has gone down so much. Each day I worry more. Things that helped me to see that God is great or brings assurance that God will provide doesn't helped me in my faith in God. It is all just cognitive. I do not mean to talk negative about the knowledge that I've gain, but indeed it gave me some enlightenement. What I want to share through out the year is that I am spiritually dry.
How I overcome? I think, constant relating with God helps me not to get myself into spiritual dryness. Constant praying, reading the word(sometime I feel guilty that I read more history book than the Bible) and fellowship and serving with one another. Indeed, through out the year, God has never failed me in the difficulties that I've met. I might not be the best student in my GPA, that is not my aim. My aim is to continue glorify his name through my study. God spoke one thing clearly to me, "How can I not take seriously in studying God's word?" One question leads me to a lot of changes. I really thank God for this.
One last thing is keeping touch with the Spirit of God. When I read 1John, I was captured by the word, dwell or abide. That the Spirit of God abides in us. And in 1John also says that who can know what God wants to do unless God's Spirit himself. Therefore, if God's Spirit did not abide in us, how can we know we are doing His will? I noticed the importance of keep in touch with the Spirit.
One thing I always keep in my mind during my studies. I always remembered what Bishop said to me or advice me, "Study with Passion." This has help me to focus through out the year.
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