Thursday, March 31, 2011

Why Should I Eat in Canteen Anymore?!

Picture paints thousand words. Let my word be few!

Food in canteen @ RM 4.50 - RM 5! This is dinner: 1 meat and 1 vege; lunch is 1 meat and 2 veges. Don't forget that we have to come and prepare the food and wash the dishes. Some more, whether you are eating in or not, that amount still be paid.

Food at Kampung Baru Rahang (5 mins drive) @ RM 3.50. Two meats (both also pork) and one vege. No washing dishes; no preparing food. You pay for the food you like to eat. If you do not eat, you do not need to pay.

What is more to say?

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Weaker Brother??

I could never imagine that in seminary there will be weaker brother because I think we are mature enough to come into the seminary to be equipped. Someone told me that it is because we come to be equipped shows that we are weak. Now, you know what I mean as a weaker brother: doing something that will causes your neighbor to stumble. I think, if you are ready to come into seminary, you must be strong in your faith and confident with it already. But sadly, even playing cards, someone will think that it will stumble the students. Just because I am using cards which has Carlsberg, Sports Toto logo on it will cause them to stumble. This is just ridiculous, isn't it?

In words, people say please don't speak so harsh. I don't know when it happens that speaking the truth is treated as harsh. I really don't know how to speak politically correct words. And I do not know why people can mixed manners with politically correct words. Since when if you speak politically correct means that you have manners?

Thursday, March 10, 2011


We had our Ash Wednesday yesterday. One of the sessions, each year has to share what are the things we need to repent in our lives, community, our country and the world. A particular year said that we need to repent of gossiping, talking about people from behind (in particular). Our year shared on the community living that we are reluctant in spirit to be part of the duty in our community. I was asked to share this to the community, in front of all students and the faculties. I asked the year representative is he sure that he wants me to share. In my heart, I am afraid to pour out all the negative emotions I have with this issue.

I shared. I've said something rather 'radical'. I shared what we shared. I shared what really happens in our community life among the students which most of them afraid to raise it up publicly. I shared that we are reluctant to do gardening, and we need to repent of it. I shared that we need to repent of ignoring our responsibilities in the dorm. I shared we need to repent of our selfishness in library. And I shared that we need to repent of our attitude in the canteen because of the under-cost food. We are grumbling about it. In the end of sharing, we are required to pray for repentance.

I shared publicly, "I am sorry; I need to confess and repent that I do not know how to pray for these items." I just say, "Lord, in your mercy." I was expecting they all to say, "hear our prayer," but it didn't happen. I do not know how to pray for these items because I am struggling with these issues, especially the under-cost food. My struggle is if I repent on behalf of the community, it means that we are not grateful with our food and we need to change our attitude in canteen. And it also means that the one who cook, the one who responsible in this area simply ignoring their responsibilities just by ACCUSING the student of not being grateful with what they have. We all know as students even some of the faculty where the problem is, but blames have to be upon our attitude!

That is why I am struggling. I do not want to use prayer to politicalize the issue. I am not being selfish here. I think the one who need to repent and change is not us as student.

The title of this blog is "backstabbing". My action in chapel has been a discussion in some of the Chinese Pastoral group. I knew this because the students told me. Some defended me. As far as I know, I do not know who back-stabbed me! I was quite angry and disappointed. One hand you pray "WE NEED TO REPENT FOR GOSSIPING AND TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE FROM BEHIND." Just in a short time, you talk about me from behind in your PASTORAL GROUP?! This is just simply HYPOCRITE! Are we all just coming our for the sake of sharing and to be POLITICALLY CORRECT in sharing and praying?

Have mercy upon me, Lord.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Friday, March 4, 2011

Love your enemy?

My dad's business was affected during the 1998/99 financial crisis. His business partner cheated his money, and he has to close down his business. My dad of course forced him to pay back the money that he owed to us. At one point we even called the police, but it didn't work. He said he will pay monthly to us. And that is how I can use the money more my tertiary education and completed my degree in finance.

Recently, his daughter added me in Facebook. At first I was suspicious who is this. Many people added me recently whom I do not know them. So famous..:D Anyway, I checked up her photos, and saw her brother who I used to hang out with. I recognized by then that the father is the one who has cheated us! 12 years time had passed. I saw that they are enjoying and my dad is struggling financially.

Mix feelings. Should I be hateful to them? Is their generation. But if not because of him, I might have the chance to go oversea to study. My extended family relationship would not be broken now! And I would not see how my dad being insulted by people especially my uncles! My mum wouldn't struggle to work daily until her health is affected. And my brothers will have the chance to continue their study too.

All these happen because the love of money! I thank God, it is through deepest struggle in my family that my dad accepted Christ and willingly allow my brother and I to serve fulltime, 66.7% of us.

I'm still struggle to love them. I actually has forgotten about it.

So Help Me God,

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Altar Call?

I do not know what do you all think about when church has altar call after their preaching. To me, I am still struggle with it. Either we agree or not agree, each party will say that we limit the work of the Holy Spirit. While remaining in struggle and being in church that practice altar call, this my stand if they do so. By saying all these, I have not made my stand yet, but is just my stand because I am in church(es) which practices altar call.

Firstly, do not misused altar call when the preaching is not solid! Most of time from observation and to young preacher, and to preacher with charismatic influence, will tend to do altar call when their preaching is not solid; when they preached not systematically, and they feel that they have failed to deliver the message properly. Sometime you will notice the message is different than the altar call challenge! I'm standing in a position if I would practice altar call, we should not use it when we feel we fail to deliver the message, and try to use psychology to manipulate people. If you feel your sermon is lousy, don't do altar call for you are the one who need the Holy Spirit to minister.

Second, if I were to practice altar call, we must respect people who responded and come up to the front. Most of time we see that when there is an altar call, the worship team will make the music so loud and encourage those who standing and not responded to sing while people in front are being ministered. I think this is just all wrong! It is so hard to minister and pray for those who has accepted the challenge when the music is so loud. We have to yelled at their ear, and sometime we could not hear what is their needs. If you want to have an altar call, make the music soft so that people who have accepted the challenge will be ministered. Sometime, like the first point, music is purposefully made loud to manipulate people feeling that they feel is Holy Spirit prompting them.

These are my main two issue when people practicing altar call.


My personal thought on current church

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