Monday, January 26, 2009

If only I wait, I would have better one

Last week was a struggle week for me. I've been so childish. I do not know why I will behave like that. I felt not satisfy with things that had happen. Something that unfair to me until the point I ask God, "Where is mine?!" Temptation came to me when I am searching for a laptop and I cannot afford it for time being. I remember when I looking for a laptop, I hear a voice in my heart that saying wait for the timing of God.

I've been very frustrated when I ask God "where is mine?" because all the things I ask is what I need and not what I want. I've been angry to God (I knew I could not) for few days. I tried to understand Him in a more conscious way and more spiritual way but I just overcome my feeling.

I've finally changed my phone for after 5 years using it. I truly love this phone but it getting old and giving a sign that it is dying soon. Is the phone that I hope for so long to get it. Though it is AP but I still satisfy. And though is not a new (used for roughly 4 mths), I got a good deal. Is Sony Ericsson P1i. The feeling of satisfaction is not there. I can afford this phone because of the gifts that I've got in Labuan. I know I am using my ability to buy this phone. I should be very happy but I din't.

I don't treat this as a rebuke but God speak to me in yesterday sermon. God let me see a picture that everything will be different if I wait, if I'm patient and if I include Him in the decision. This lesson really draw me back to Him. His arm never to short to hug me. Once again I felt comfort in His arms. I long for this feeling for so long. This lesson also gave me an answer for my struggle in my seminary life. The sermon were taken in John 2:1-11. Scene will be different if we include God in our life in every decision making. Jesus makes a better wine than the bridegroom.

In the end, I only can say "I'm sorry God."

Isaac

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